The More You Want, The Poorer You Are
Essentialism, Not Minimalism
I will admit, the title for this was worded… weirdly. But it conveys exactly what I want it to. Occasionally, when I ask clients what their goals are (financial and otherwise), they instead give me their dreams. Dreams are totally fine! If I won the lottery, I would probably want to do all sorts of dumb shit with the money. I have dreamed of building a castle with a moat around it1, filled with alligators. I love the idea of running for congress, purely on the platform of term limits, financial transparency and limitations, and mandatory IRS audits for those in high government positions.
The truth is, I probably won’t win the lottery, and even if I did, I still wouldn’t do those things I dreamed about. In reality, the things that are truly important to me are my health, my relationships, and my business (in that order). Furthermore, I don’t need to win the lottery to make those things successful, and spending money on dumb shit outside of those priorities is actually more likely to make me less happy, and probably ruin those three main priorities in the long run.
Let’s start over. Imagine you are making good money (whatever that means to you). You have a big house, fancy cars. Not only do you have a new boat, you have a lake house 4 hours away that you go to a few weekends every summer. You have designer clothes. You take multiple extravagant vacations every year, and everyone on social media fawns over your lifestyle. You are the biggest swingin’ dick in your gated community in the most affluent suburb of your city.
You’re also fucking broke. Not literally, though. You may have a few million in your investment accounts, but you are also saddled with debt. You are saving only a tiny fraction of your income, and your financial planner says you are going to have to work till age 72 in order to retire. Considering you don’t take care of yourself, the years you have left after that will be riddled with health issues (and the medical bills that come with it).
The worst part of this- no one actually gives a shit about any of your stuff, least of all your family. In your quest to impress people with your money, your marriage has failed, your children don’t talk to you2, and your friends are always mooching off of you3. You have married your job or business rather than the actual people that care about you.
Because you have always focused on more, you end up with less. In plain mathematical terms, your expenses are so high that you have to save exponentially more to achieve financial independence4, but you can’t afford to do so because your expenses are so high. Consequentially, you are a slave to your own possessions, none of which bring you real fulfillment.
I have a client; his name is Steve5. I met him at a bar a few years ago. We became friends, and he eventually asked me to manage his money. Steve had a pretty successful career, and received a sizeable inheritance. He does not have to work anymore, and has been “fun-employed” for roughly 10 years (he is now in his early 50s). He has a small condo that is paid off, and a cheap car. Single dude, no kids. His hobby: hopping around the townie bars for a few hours every afternoon, interacting with the locals and the bartenders that serve them. I have never seen him particularly drunk or belligerent; this is just his social life. He also likes to gamble modestly, particularly on sports.
Steve is happy. He has complete control over his time, and has genuine, fulfilling relationships. He has joked with me about the dumb shit he could do with his money, and how it wouldn’t make him any happier.
I am not saying you should stay single and barhop every day. I am not even saying you should live like a cheapskate just to brag about how little you spend. What I am saying is this- figure out what actually fucking matters to you. Then focus on that. It might be quitting your highly demanding job and taking one that pays a little less so you can focus on being present with your kids6. It might be cocaine and hookers (probably not though).
It is not my job to tell you what to care about, but you do need to care about something. Chances are, if you are truly honest with yourself, that thing isn’t material. Hell, I can almost guarantee they are the same things I care about! Without good health, quality relationships, and a fulfilling career, whatever is left probably feels pretty empty.
If you are young, this might not resonate with you yet. I had thought of these things, but it wasn’t until I faced my own mortality that this shit came to the forefront and dominated my day to day thoughts and actions. More on that another time, but until then, just remember- no one actually gives a shit about your stuff, and your time is the only resource you can’t get more of, so spend it wisely, and make sure you save money so future-you can thank current-you for the freedom you give them.
Kyle Thompson, MBA, CEPA
Founder/Lead Advisor
The content contained herein is intended as education and entertainment, and does not constitute investment, tax, or legal advice. Please consult the relevant advisor before making any decisions. Additionally, any opinions expressed here are solely those of the author, and do not represent the opinion of Leetown Advisors or its affiliates.
With signs saying, “you are not re-moat-ly welcome here”.
Unless they need money!
Those aren’t real friends.
My definition of this is- you have enough money to control what you do with your time. That doesn’t necessarily mean not working.
His name is not Steve.
This is a real conversation I had with a high income attorney client.